Who Am I?

I am a dynamic figure, often scaling buildings, climbing mountains and crushing icy boundaries. I have been known to remodel airports on my travels, reorganize cities in my lunch breaks, making them friendlier and more accessible for aliens.

I write award-winning symphonies and Pullitzer prize novels, I enchant Presidents with my poetry but cannot manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I walk over water for months in a row but do not perform miracles for free.

I woo men & women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot trains up severe inclines at ferocious speed. I cook 30-minute meals in twenty minutes and I teach 90-day language courses in 1 light-year.

I am an expert in Origami, a veteran in love, a fanatic for chocolate and an outlaw in Nicaragua. When I'm bored I build large spaceships in my backyard. I enjoy urban parasailing and jungle kite surfing.

On Wednesdays, I'm a Friday person - I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, a cut-throat negotiator and a ruthless pirate. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy underwear. I don't perspire and I very rarely breathe unless it's underwater.

I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I run the 100m in 9.56 secs. My incredible vegetables have earned me fame in international horticultural circles. Children trust me, Governments don't. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA, KGB and MI6.... ssssssssh, don't tell anyone.

I've piloted the Enterprise and I've fought Klingons. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a tree. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I'm virtual and yet I can feel and touch.

I'm a polimath and polyglot, one-dimensional polymorphic, polyamorous and sometimes polygamous - yes, at least... I'm also ... honest!

Sommer B. In't Veld © 2006